The Art of Romance by Robert W Tinsley

Nattefrieri 02 As I mentioned before, the nattefrieri or night proposal went through several stages. During the earliest stage the boys would travel in groups and visit several girls in one evening.  As things developed, a boy would visit only one girl on a Saturday evening. Small gifts were exchanged. A young lady accepting a gift was an important step in the right direction. If, when he visited the next week, his gift was easily visible or being used, he could be sure that she liked him as well. The gifts were decorated, often with hearts. Quoting from the article, "Den historiske sjekkeboka," by Mona Beate Vattekar, "among these gifts, the spoon, often called the suitor's spoon, was among the first and most important attentions bestowed."  So spoons weren't only given on the wedding day, or days (can you imagine dealing with 30 to 50 guests for three days??), the entire courtship from festegava to kærestegava to frierigava seemed to be littere...

Who's heard of that? The Night Proposal, a Norwegian courting custom that, according to an article by Mona Beate Vattekar published by the Telemark Museum, stretched from recent antiquity back to the Middle Ages or even beyond.  In "The Olden Times" contact between the genders was highly restricted. At social gatherings the males, of all ages, stayed on one side of the room and the females stayed on the other. About the only way for boys and girls to get to know one another was the Nattefreieri, which only occurred on Saturday evening.  The boy would ask permission to visit the girl. This visit would occur with the two in bed fully clothed. Often the girl's sisters or friends would be present, depending on the stage of the relationship, which apparently ran through "feste" (party), "kjæreste" (girlfriend or suitor), and "frieri" (engagement)" accompanied by appropriate gifts prominent among which are spoons. To prevent th...